JOKES THREAD!

hi lads just beware what you buy on ebay search for any information you can get,got scammed last week spent£95+25 postage for a penis enlarger,got sent a magnifying glass only instructions don't use in bright sunlight

Luis Suarez &quot;i like defenders but i couldnt eat a whole one!&quot; <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt="" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

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Just 1 of many on Twitter this morning.
So apparently Luis Suarez has spoken to Ivanovic on the phone. Not to apologise, he just wanted to order a takeaway. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt="" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
And 1 of the many photos.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BIcJ9NkCEAA83Wm.jpg:large

grand kids don't you just love,funny,boisterous,cheeky,played piggy back riding for four hours, with my four year old grandson nearly done my back in, was doing alright till i fell off

A friend of mine caught a massive shark, despite losing both arms.

I asked how big it was and he said: &quot;It was this..... Oh... Shit.&quot;

It's proving very difficult to find a shop selling &quot;Left Guard&quot; for my other armpit...

Brazils new stadium looks good, I expected the pitch to just be a strip of turf on the edge of the box.

Saw a sign on the train saying &quot;please give this seat to an elderly person&quot; so i unscrewed it and took it to my granddads house...

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My mate has invented a hookless fishing line.

It'll never catch on

went to a party sat night,great do loads beer,food,music,had to go outside for a smoke,two girls followed me out started fighting over me got really nasty had to phone the police,saregent on the desk said it was'nt an emergency i said it was the fat birds winning

asked what time the gunners match kicked off,every fifteen minutes